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Saturday, February 2, 2013

Let's talk about life!

It’s a beautiful morning. Unlike most other post-nightmare mornings, I woke up this morning after abruptly cutting short a very happy and delightful dream. That makes me wonder, a dream feels so real – almost as real as REAL- one can actually feel real emotions during/after a dream. That’s really awesome simulation. Nature always has a way of beating technology, and the former does is so naturally and easily. That’s like when ‘love’ protects Harry when the darkest and most powerful magic fails the dark Lord. Anyway, let me nor digress. My dream, coming back there, I vaguely remember dancing exultantly. I was ecstatic, I’ve no idea why. I did have a good night, like it matters if it was all only in my head. I’m so happy, I don’t even remember the mood dampening stuff of yesterday evening. It’s truly a beautiful morning.

This looks like the ideal day to start afresh. ‘A new beginning’ – Now how fresh and positive does that sound? The freshness reminds me of a pretty dew drop majestically seated on pristine green leaf that’s forced to do a graceful dance thanks to the pleasantly cold wind. That’s perhaps how the phrase ‘turn over a new leaf’ was coined. Apologies if anything I write today sounds like crap. My mind is on one of its overly excited and restless days. Please excuse me and my temporarily capricious mind for its unsystematic, arbitrary and interrupting thoughts. Coming back to this morning that’s so bright yet beautifully sober, it makes me want to start living life. Living life wonderfully, the way it’s to be lived. Life that’s a routine is not just monotonous and depressing, but ironical. Life- the word, the sound of it – it gives an idea of depth and intriguing beauty. Close your eyes and say it aloud while still whispering and you will feel it too. That reminds me of one day back in school, when my French ma’am asked all of us to say the word ‘aujourd’hui’ aloud with our eyes closed. When you know the meaning of a word, it in a way reverberates along with the sound of it. It’s wonderful. Damn, I should stop myself from digressing. It’s funny how the mind meanders into random thoughts when you unleash it! Haven’t we all had a day when we started somewhere and went zig-zag-zig and completely forgot what we were talking about?! Oh I did that AGAIN.

I was talking about life. Isn’t it the most mysterious of all things around? While in a tough situation or when I can’t take something any longer, I wonder if life is real. I wonder if the day before really happened; if our memories of the past are true. What if our past is nothing but data recorded in our heads like the thoughts in a pensieve? What if I was being fooled?  I wonder if the next morning will make me realize it was all a dream. I remember I wondered all this before my board exams; I remember wondering if my exams even mattered. I also remember having no other way but to stop thinking crap and study through the night. It’s all so intriguing.

While I still have this life, I want to live it. I want to live it today, the way I dream of living it someday. Today could be the last day. How I’d regret in heaven if this mystery ended without me having visited the Caribbean? Or wait, there’s France. I swore to myself while in French class, that I’d one day sharpen my French and then visit the country. How I’d sit in heaven and watch a lot of you traveling and exploring and shopping and die for the second time, this time of jealousy. Regret is the worst feeling there is. My team at work tells me I should learn to be more proactive. That’s a sign! On the same day random and aimless clicks on fb led me to one article I just had to read. I’ve been having sudden moments of realization lately. I realized yesterday that I’m 22 and if life’s become a droning routine, there’s got to be something wrong with the way I’m living it. I’ve been discussing traveling, a lot. It can’t be simply coincidental that all of this happens together. It feels like the world’s trying to tell me something.

Source: Google
I love to travel. It’s an amazing feeling. Maybe it’s just me, but beautiful places inspire me to an unbelievable extent. It’s an overwhelming feeling. The Grand Canyon, for instance, I loved the tranquil of it. I could just stand and stare a whole day. From up there, the river Colorado with its waters rising and receding monstrously and aggressively looks like a peaceful, very pretty teal strip undulating amidst the vastness of rocks and boulders of various shades of brown. It’s gorgeous. It’s humbling, the magnificence of it. This is the feeling I long to feel. Not just that, so much more. I want to visit new places, take a stroll on the streets. I want to satiate my curiosity, I want to explore. I want to watch people, meet some and live life their way while I’m there. I want to eat their food and drink their drinks. In any place I visit, I want to understand the history, embrace the culture, and inhale the beauty. I want to shop and of course I want to dress up their way. I want new and refreshing experiences. I want new perspectives. I want to understand people better. I want to see life differently. I want to travel, explore, and fall in love with my life.


I want to begin to live life. I want to begin to feel life. Today is the day to start afresh. A new beginning.