It’s a beautiful morning. Unlike
most other post-nightmare mornings, I woke up this morning after abruptly
cutting short a very happy and delightful dream. That makes me wonder, a dream
feels so real – almost as real as REAL- one can actually feel real emotions
during/after a dream. That’s really awesome simulation. Nature always has a way of
beating technology, and the former does is so naturally and easily. That’s like
when ‘love’ protects Harry when the darkest and most powerful magic fails the
dark Lord. Anyway, let me nor digress. My dream, coming back there, I vaguely remember
dancing exultantly. I was ecstatic, I’ve no idea why. I did have a good night, like
it matters if it was all only in my head. I’m so happy, I don’t even remember the
mood dampening stuff of yesterday evening. It’s truly a beautiful morning.
This
looks like the ideal day to start afresh. ‘A new beginning’ – Now how fresh and
positive does that sound? The freshness reminds me of a pretty dew drop
majestically seated on pristine green leaf that’s forced to do a graceful dance
thanks to the pleasantly cold wind. That’s perhaps how the phrase ‘turn over a
new leaf’ was coined. Apologies if anything I write today sounds like crap. My mind
is on one of its overly excited and restless days. Please excuse me and my temporarily
capricious mind for its unsystematic, arbitrary and interrupting thoughts. Coming
back to this morning that’s so bright yet beautifully sober, it makes me want
to start living life. Living life wonderfully, the way it’s to be lived. Life
that’s a routine is not just monotonous and depressing, but ironical. Life- the
word, the sound of it – it gives an idea of depth and intriguing beauty. Close
your eyes and say it aloud while still whispering and you will feel it too.
That reminds me of one day back in school, when my French ma’am asked all of us
to say the word ‘aujourd’hui’ aloud with our eyes closed. When you know the meaning of a word, it in a way reverberates
along with the sound of it. It’s wonderful. Damn, I should stop myself from
digressing. It’s funny how the mind meanders into random thoughts when you
unleash it! Haven’t we all had a day when we started somewhere and went
zig-zag-zig and completely forgot what we were talking about?! Oh I did that
AGAIN.
I was talking about life. Isn’t
it the most mysterious of all things around? While in a tough situation or when
I can’t take something any longer, I wonder if life is real. I wonder if the
day before really happened; if our memories of the past are true. What if our
past is nothing but data recorded in our heads like the thoughts in a pensieve?
What if I was being fooled? I wonder if
the next morning will make me realize it was all a dream. I remember I wondered
all this before my board exams; I remember wondering if my exams even mattered.
I also remember having no other way but to stop thinking crap and study through
the night. It’s all so intriguing.
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| Source: dianamajalahti.com |
While I still have this life, I
want to live it. I want to live it today, the way I dream of living it someday.
Today could be the last day. How I’d regret in heaven if this mystery ended
without me having visited the Caribbean? Or wait, there’s France. I swore to
myself while in French class, that I’d one day sharpen my French and then visit
the country. How I’d sit in heaven and watch a lot of you traveling and
exploring and shopping and die for the second time, this time of jealousy.
Regret is the worst feeling there is. My team at work tells me I should learn
to be more proactive. That’s a sign! On the same day random and aimless clicks
on fb led me to one article I
just had to read. I’ve been having sudden moments of realization lately. I
realized yesterday that I’m 22 and if life’s become a droning routine, there’s
got to be something wrong with the way I’m living it. I’ve been discussing
traveling, a lot. It can’t be simply coincidental that all of this happens
together. It feels like the world’s trying to tell me something.
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| Source: Google |
I love to travel. It’s an amazing
feeling. Maybe it’s just me, but beautiful places inspire me to an unbelievable
extent. It’s an overwhelming feeling. The Grand Canyon, for instance, I loved
the tranquil of it. I could just stand and stare a whole day. From up there, the river
Colorado with its waters rising and receding monstrously and aggressively looks
like a peaceful, very pretty teal strip undulating amidst the vastness of rocks
and boulders of various shades of brown. It’s gorgeous. It’s humbling, the
magnificence of it. This is the feeling I long to feel. Not just that, so much
more. I want to visit new places, take a stroll on the streets. I want to
satiate my curiosity, I want to explore. I want to watch people, meet some and
live life their way while I’m there. I want to eat their food and drink their
drinks. In any place I visit, I want to understand the history, embrace the
culture, and inhale the beauty. I want to shop and of course I want to dress up
their way. I want new and refreshing experiences. I want new perspectives. I
want to understand people better. I want to see life differently. I want to travel, explore, and fall in love
with my life.
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| Source: writingthroughthefog.com |
I want to begin to live life. I want to begin to feel life. Today
is the day to start afresh. A new beginning.
